What an honor: I, an obscure woman of a certain age in New England, am the rock upon which the gallant Sharron Angle shall build her triumphant campaign to unseat the nefarious Harry Reid!
Well, I'll achieve rocklike status if I can find my checkbook.
Or so suggests the urgent! give now! we can do it if you'll just fork over the cash! letter I got from the "Friends of Sharron Angle."
Say what?!? Oh, yes. Come over the fold with me and I'll show you.
Now, as a lifelong Massachusetts resident who's voted staunchly Democratic for decades, it had never occurred to me that I could play such a pivotal role in a Republican's race even in the Bay State, let alone way out West. But then I dredged out today's contents of my mailbox, and what did I see, but a large envelope (pseudo)hand-addressed to me, yes me! from "Sharron Angle Official Republican Nominee for U.S. Senate against Harry Reid", proclaiming right there on the envelope, right between the aforementioned identifier and my "Personal to" name and address: "As the official Republican nominee running against Harry Reid, [uh, already noted; did the sender perhaps doubt my powers of perception?] I need your help today!"
Wow, she needs me; she really needs me! I felt so............ ah, "important" isn't quite the reaction evoked, though that probably was the intent. "Excited"? Naw, not that either. "Enthused"? Well............
Okay, falling-down-laughing was more like it. Anyway, I tore open the envelope and found within this two-page masterpiece of understated appeal:
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Whew! After reading that I had to go lie down and catch my breath.
But it's so heartwarming, so personally touching that Sharron, dear brave Sharron, would take time out from her busy schedule of beating back the ravening hordes of socialist marxist Muslim-worshipping illegal-immigrant-encouraging tax-and-spending Obama-loving government-takeover-down-throat-shoving Democrat demons to personally underline and circle and ((-----)) and sign her modest appeal. I mean, what with all the evil machinations of Harry Reid to fight the good fight against, it's really amazing how she can reach out so personally to me. Why, on the first page she even personally wrote out the "I need your help to defeat Harry Reid" yellow sticky! How much more personal can you get?
I was so inspired by this heartfelt personal appeal, I ran around the house muttering "Where's my checkbook? Where is it, so I can help defeat the dread Harry Reid and spell doom for Obama's agenda? This is crucial! Where is it?!?"
Then I realized one of the cats, no doubt an evil Democrat freedom-hating feline, had knocked it off the counter and dragged it away. I'd have hunted it down, but by now the frenzied excitement of Sharron's appeal had taken its toll, and I was forced to stop for some tasty and refreshing Kool-Aid.
So, alas! I couldn't rush Sharron my crucial donation of $25, $35, $50, $75, $100, $250, $500, $1,000 or even $2,400. * sob * However shall I live with myself, if that nasty Harry Reid defeats dear brave Sharron because I didn't come to her aid when she personally pleaded for my help?
